I guess I should start at the beginning for all of this to make sense.
I feel stuck. I've felt stuck for years. Not days, not weeks, not months. Years. I know that does sound bad. In fact, it feels even worse than it sounds. I know I want to do something to change that. I tried to do something quite a few times, but usually I get sidetracked, distracted, I lose motivation and then I lose hope. That's why I created this blog to remind me what matters. It will be a map for my journey out of the wasteland that I'm stuck in. I will write the things that I want or need to do, the things I've accomplished, the things that inspire me, make me sad, angry or disappointed, the things that make me feel alive.
The main problem holding me back is fear. I'm constantly afraid. I'm scared I won't succeed, scared to make mistakes, to disappoint or hurt people, frightened I'll remain stuck where I am and scared that sometimes my mind contradicts itself so much that I make no sense. It makes me feel undecided, hopeless and a complete loser.
That's not the main thing about me, though. I feel that my wish to change is much more important than my fear. I want to change the way I speak and feel about myself, the way I see life and the way I live. I want to consciously choose to see the beauty and not to pay attention to the things that bring me down.
So, here's to the new beginning and let's see where it takes me. Anyone who feels like it is welcome to travel with me. Welcome on board, brave and hopeful ones. The trip out of the wasteland begins today.
I feel stuck. I've felt stuck for years. Not days, not weeks, not months. Years. I know that does sound bad. In fact, it feels even worse than it sounds. I know I want to do something to change that. I tried to do something quite a few times, but usually I get sidetracked, distracted, I lose motivation and then I lose hope. That's why I created this blog to remind me what matters. It will be a map for my journey out of the wasteland that I'm stuck in. I will write the things that I want or need to do, the things I've accomplished, the things that inspire me, make me sad, angry or disappointed, the things that make me feel alive.
The main problem holding me back is fear. I'm constantly afraid. I'm scared I won't succeed, scared to make mistakes, to disappoint or hurt people, frightened I'll remain stuck where I am and scared that sometimes my mind contradicts itself so much that I make no sense. It makes me feel undecided, hopeless and a complete loser.
That's not the main thing about me, though. I feel that my wish to change is much more important than my fear. I want to change the way I speak and feel about myself, the way I see life and the way I live. I want to consciously choose to see the beauty and not to pay attention to the things that bring me down.
So, here's to the new beginning and let's see where it takes me. Anyone who feels like it is welcome to travel with me. Welcome on board, brave and hopeful ones. The trip out of the wasteland begins today.